Poverty Thinktank

Christmas List 2010

2010-11-10T21:40:00.007-07:00

BundleMe for Henry (so I can jog with him in the morning in the winter).
Tumbuk2 bag, like Christy's. (My research indicates their new bags are not so great; so here's a link to one of their old bags. I like the light blue/dark blue combination.)
Religious piano solos book. Any of the classics are great.
Fun (and plastic) Christmas plates! Like these, these, or these.
Babysitting so Matt and I can go to the temple. (Or even so I can go alone during the day...)
These bowls.
Scrapbook paper! I like the packs with lots of variety.
The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis.
A puzzle. 500 to 1000 pieces. Super cool picture. NOT crazy hard.

Christmas wishlist

2009-11-09T20:05:00.005-07:00

1. Bummis bamboozle diaper (size infant, 5-18 lbs)
2. Ikea Billy bookcase
3. diaper changing pad (any contoured kind will do)
4. Reader's Digest Merry Christmas Songbook
5. Bob stroller handlebar console
6. thin white headband (or ribbon)
7. LLBean hearthside moccasin slipper (red or chocolate, size 7)

If any of those don't seem like something you'd like to spend money on, try some of these other ideas:

- Christmas appetizer plates (the store in Orem has the appetizer size in the style I linked to) from Pier 1 Imports
- a gift that would benefit a third-world artisan (like this one or this one)

And, of course, anything for Henry.

new resources

2008-12-09T07:43:00.004-07:00

Just this week I was introduced to a new resource for poverty discussions and was reacquainted with an old one.

modestneeds.org
A friend passed on a link to this website, which has a rather interesting approach to connecting donors with individuals and organizations seeking funds: instead of having an organization seek out donors individually, this website collects "Requests for Help" from these organizations in need and then lets a donor peruse the site to find a complementary fit.

The idea reminds me a bit of kiva. org, where donors can choose from a list of microenterprising individuals and give out loans to those they select. Hence, the donors can do some one-stop shopping for meeting their philanthropic desires.

I'm interested in the success rate of these kinds of websites?

Aspen Institute FIELD Program
Two summers ago I did research work for the Aspen Institute, a thinktank in D.C., through a local microenterprise organization. The data I collected contributed to the FIELD program, which seeks to better understand microenterprise ventures in the United States. The Aspen Institute recently sent me a case study detailing how one nonprofit organization is trying to beef up its earned income to be less dependent on grants. The timing seemed apropos with a wavering economy that will surely cut the generosity of donors as they start to feel pinched.

One thing I really like about nonprofits is that they are in a unique sector which demands constant innovative thinking to be able to even stay afloat, let alone get to a stable position on land. As long as the need for innovation isn't overwhelming, working in a nonprofit can be invigorating and challenging every day.

npr

2008-12-01T09:47:00.003-07:00

A large portion of my daily news intake comes through NPR. I listen to it as I do dishes, eat lunch, or take a break in the afternoon. Today's theme was especially poignant for my re-focus on social issues.

The show was about a new book called Creative Capitalism by Michael Kinsley that advocates businesses to do good while doing business. His main subject for modeling how well this might work is Bill Gates, who founded the Gates Foundation and is being more than just a philanthropist in trying to solve social problems.

My main question--which wasn't addressed during the somewhat short segment I had a chance to catch--was what capitalist CEOs might think of this idea at a time when the economy is shrinking? After all, Gates had to first establish his fortune before using it for good. If we can't even establish our fortunes, then can we help others?

My resounding answer is YES. And, just as Mr. Kinsley pointed out, we really must for our own good. By being aware and helping others, we improve our inter-connected world. And that improves our own lives.

So, instead of focusing solely on making the big bucks (or even the small bucks, in my case), we need to be worried about the Other and divert our attention and resources in ways that mitigate our selfishness and improve the communities we are connected to.

re-focus

2008-11-25T10:27:00.004-07:00

It's been over a year since I last posted on this site. Since then I have graduated with my MPA degree, gotten married, and been hired for jobs I never anticipated. My poverty thoughts--which were so focused during my graduate program--have only been little wifts here and there while I have been caught up in the "real" world (i.e., outside of school).

This morning I want to re-focus on poverty. I'd like to experiment with how to help with poverty in my new role--outside the classroom, married, and with a different job. I have a few books I'll be reading in the next while to sharpen the saw, but what I'd like to comment on now is what I've been doing for the last year to help poverty.

My husband and I made an early goal in our marriage to dedicate a portion of our money each month to a cause we thought would be worthwhile. Sometimes we have contributed to established instituations; other times we have shared with neighbors or friends in need. The amount is not large enough to be a great help to others, but it is enough to help us remember that we co-exist with others in smaller and larger communities.

And maybe that is a way to successfully approach poverty. Back in agrarian times, people were inter-dependent. Now, we are fiercely independent--and, in some ways, fiercely dependent. Independence is not necessarily a bad thing--as long as it is tempered so we reach out to others AND accept reaching in from others. Dependence, on the other end of the spectrum, is not a good thing. I'm not very comfortable with the trend toward dependence we see in our current political situation. It reeks of thinklessness, laziness, and unequally forced equality.

So perhaps inter-dependence is something that should be looked at more carefully as a viable way to dealing with inequality in terms of poverty.

domestic poverty

2007-07-31T17:36:00.000-06:00

This summer I am working for an organization that deals in domestic poverty--domestic meaning "Salt Lake City, Utah." Utah, especially Salt Lake, has a high number of refugees and immigrants, particularly Hispanics, and these groups make up a large part of what some would term "those in poverty."

But my paradigm of poverty is so different from being in other countries--namely, Africa, Argentina, Chile (both richer South American countries), Peru, and Mexico. I have struggled seeing how giving a loan to someone who has a house, a car, and even a job is helping to alleviate poverty.

Well, I take that back. I struggle to see how someone who has a house, car, and job is termed as someone IN poverty. I went into this summer stint with a strong desire to better understand domestic poverty and figure out ways to help those in poverty right in my own backyard. But I have learned what I didn't expect: poverty is a relative thing.

If you will recall (if you are an avid reader of my oh-so-often blog), I once wrote about how poverty is more than a simple lack of financial resources. Rather, it is an attitude, a disease, a lack of self-esteem, a blow to opportunity, or a crippling defect born by those who happen to not be so affluent. It turns out poverty works in much the same way in the United States--those in poverty are fighting for their self-esteem and their dignity, as much as they are fighting to maintain financial control.

One thing I do need to address sometime (hopefully soon) is how this poverty influences the actions and decisions of many people. More on this later...

poverty paradigm

2007-05-28T22:57:00.000-06:00

I just got back from spending two weeks in Ghana (hence the lack of blog updates--many apologies to the unknown void). In all my international travels, I have never seen such widespread poverty, nor have I seen people so content. Hmmm, maybe content is the wrong word because I have also never been hit up for money by so many people so quickly. I was in Accra, the developed capital, and I was somewhat dumbfounded by the sprawling poverty that we encountered. But the people are busy and about, most of them hawkers. So, while their roofs barely do enough to keep out the sun (but NOT the rain), they are going about their lives in an unassuming way.

Compare, then, this international scene of poverty to what I will be doing this summer: working with domestic poverty. I will be gathering data for a local nonprofit in Salt Lake City that gives out micro-loans to residents who can't get loans from a regular bank. They may have running water, a roof over their head, and heat in the winter, but the poverty they are in prevents them from accessing many other parts of society.

And so I raise a few questions (some of the bajillions that are floating around inside my head): when did poverty start? How did we decided to define poverty based on economic terms? And, does knowing the cause and root of poverty help with the solution?

A few answers: poverty is so much more than a lack of financial resources. If you don't have money, you don't have security, stress increases, and life becomes complicated. Your life approach is different. Relationships matter more than getting to an appointment on time. Is this all bad? Not necessarily. And who's to say what the line of poverty is? I can say that the little boy toddling out of a broken down shack without running water and no shoes is in poverty; but so can the man on the street of a beautiful homes who can't afford to pay for his electricity. So poverty is more than a financial measurement; it's a lack of empowerment.

re-focus

2007-04-06T17:50:00.000-06:00

I just discovered that my blog was tagged by Ian Wilhelm on the Chronicle of Philanthropy's website. As I reviewed my last posts, I felt an obligation to return to the reason I had started the blog since I will be getting a few referrals from his reference.

Just today I had a two-hour conversation with two representatives in the Department of Workforce Services in Utah. We spoke about poverty in Utah and the system--previously referred to as welfare, but currently named the Family Employment Plan--that deals with poverty issues. I just want to throw out some very interesting points that were clarified in that conversation:

The majority of welfare recipients are children. The parents, then, do not qualify when their kids reach 18 years of age. And the increase in cash assistance for one more child is a mere $89 a month, hardly making increased welfare through increased children a profitable activity. (I hope this is tearing down the myth that people use childbirth as a way to receive welfare assistance.)
Also, many of the recipients don't max out on the time limit. In Utah, the lifetime limit for receiving cash assistance is 3 years, whereas the federal mandate from 1996 specified no more than 5 years. (Utah is definitely conservative.)
Welfare as an entitlement ceased to exist in the 1980s. Since then, participants only qualify for a limited amount of time.
Just last month, DWS recorded having just over 2,400 clients--the LOWEST number ever in the system. They trace that low number to a federal "reauthorization" reform that was enacted in December of 2005 that has made welfare benefits aligned to more strict guidelines. These guidelines have made receiving cash assistance more of a hassle for many recipients, especially when Utah's economy is doing so well.
The goal of the Family Employment Plan is not to end poverty, but to increase a family's assets through income, savings, child support, or social security assistance.

Welfare, then, is a strategic system focused on getting people connected with available resources and working toward measurable goals. I found the conversation enlightening, and I felt the system was in very capable hands.

But the next step remains: I need to have conversations with those who are IN poverty to get their view on this whole thing. As I have considered the poverty I first came across in Argentina, I realized it was nothing like the poverty I see in the U.S. Argentines were living in mosquito-infested shacks with tin roofs and no running water. Their reality was much more sparse than the reality faced by many Americans in poverty. But somehow, they survived. They kept living and having kids. I asked the ladies today about that--if someone gets kicked off of the system, does she wither up and die? No, she finds other ways to survive. It's not pleasant, but humans are amazingly resilient. I wish that the power we have in being resilient was focused more toward alleviating the pain of others. And so I continue my trek toward doing my small token part to alleviate poverty.

graduate level reading

2007-03-29T09:04:00.000-06:00

I am one month from graduating with an MPA degree. Two and a half years ago, as I was considering a graduate degree, I was informed that graduate work is based on reading. As it turns out, my program is more applied (ie: we don't have to write a thesis), but I have done a gargantuan amount of reading nonetheless. I became acutely aware of this when the director of our program suggested that we include on our resumes the books we have read for each class. I began to list just the books for one class and came up with five good, solid evidences of literature enrichment. Later that day, in another class, one student who is taking just that one class was trying to think of a reference that one of the other students had cited from a book we had read for a previous class. As she tried to remember the name of the book, we all started naming off the books that might fit the criteria. In the end, I was quite amazed to consider what I had been exposed to, and I decided I wanted to revel in the fact that I was reading so much engaging material that was preparing me for real life by helping me establish a solid academic foundation.

Just to give you an idea of what kind of preparation I am currently engaged it, here is a list of various books I have read within the last three months:

Developing Your Case for Support (153 pages)
Managing a Nonprofit Organization in the Twenty-first Century (about 60 of 340 pages)
Leadership Challenge (399 pages)
Crucial Conversations (192 pages)
Policy Paradox (314 pages)
Agendas, Alternatives, and Public Policies (244 pages)
Julius, the Baby of the World (maybe 30 pages...it is a picture book)

I am currently reading from several other books, as well as delving into articles for research on microcredit's influence on the family. Oh, and I just have to add that last year I read Kant's Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals. My professor said one-third of the reason we studied it in our ethics class was so we could say we had read Kant. So, I am here declaring that I have not only debated and delved into the ideas of Kant, but I have read them, insofar as they were translated correctly.

So, as I finish this program and I get tired of all the reading, I will try to look at the big picture and be grateful for all that I am being exposed to.

comparison: a double-edged sword

2007-03-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about comparisons. Many times I have been told that comparisons are not good because we are individual and unique; thus, we need not think we should be like others. It's kind of like the Molly Mormon idea--you just can't be perfect at everything. So stop comparing with others. Stop worrying about the money you don't have, the perfect kids you don't have (or the fact you don't have kids at all), or the super golf skills you don't have.

But then I am told I need to compare so I can have benchmarks against which to gauge my progress. Thus, I should be aware that I don't have golf skills so I am motivated to take steps to change that situation. I will be more anxious to practice and spend time swinging at golf balls. In essence, the fact that someone is better than me is proof that the skill level above me IS attainable, and that should motivate me to move forward.

With this analysis, I am left with a battle that spills over into the world of poverty. People in poverty are survivors. Many times they don't take time to dream because they are living. And lots of times they are happy in their world. But I have also seen that when they have a chance to see how other people live--ie: a soap opera in America--their ideas change, and they all the sudden want to live their life differently. So, instead of being content with their survival, they would like to add a TV or a CD player to that survival mode. I've seen various shacks with a dirt floor that have a TV. A TV? I obviously don't feel that is a necessary item, but those people do.

And that leaves me confounded as to the power of comparison. It can both help or hurt. As such, there must be a balance that steers clear of the negative aspects of comparison and encourages the motivation of comparison. I'll keep thinking about that one.

the difference a year makes

2007-03-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have recently (meaning the last five days) been going to bed earlier so I can get up earlier. I am quite amazed at how lovely it is for me to get up in the morning now, and I feel like I have the potential to be so much more productive. And not just the potential--I have tackled everything that has been put in my way this week.

So, this morning, I got up early and went to school earlier than planned to take care of some phone calls to Ghana (dealing with an 11-hour difference between Ghana and the U.S., I tried to make contact at a convenient time for them). I just loved the morning-ness!

And this afternoon it is sunny and warm. As I got out of my car and walked to my apartment, all these feelings of wanting to go and play and be outside and not study or work flooded my mind. I was a bit surprised--and then remembered that I have felt that same way for the last, oh, 20 years. At least. And so, even though I have lived through the yearly seasonal rotation 26 times before, I am still new to the feelings and actions associated with the seasonal change. I like that. I like the sedation that winter brings on, and I like the vivaciousness that spring brings out.

And with all this yearly comparison stuff going on, I couldn't help but compare where I am now to where I was a year ago. A year ago I was searching for an internship, eventually landing one in Mexico for a crazy-go- nuts (but highly influential and beneficial) experience. Now I am searching for a job, and I have my first interview next week. EXCITING! I feel like this interview will be the first in a long line of figuring things out, but I am excited to get on the bandwagon to get things moving along. I have already made myself comfortable with the tweaking of the resume for each job, so I don't feel so intimidated about making myself fit a job description. And I am amazed to look back at my experiences. Humbled. I have had great opportunities.

And so, here's to a year of adventure that took me to Mexico and Oregon and brought me back to Provo. Here's to a year where my passion was tested, my goals were changed, and my faith in humanity was refined. Here's to a year of learning, teaching, sharing, enduring, and resting.

And here's to a new year full of another set of richness.

car education course completed

2007-02-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received notice that my ticket fine has been dismissed. And so completes my crazy course in car education.

let us run with patience the race that is set before us (Hebrews 12:1)

2007-02-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Update on the car troubles: I passed emissions! I will put in a quick post when I hear word about whether or not I have to pay the $20 parking ticket.

At the beginning of the year, I made a goal to work on three characteristics throughout the year, four months at a time. I haven't decided on the other two yet, but patience was the first one I chose. Since making that a goal, I have found that patience is an essential element in every aspect of life! And I have been amazed at how I have had my patience challenged through various little (and bigger) life situations. And so this post is dedicated to a few observations I've had about patience:

Patience requires a widened perspective. If we are caught up in the moment, we don't see the outside influences and potential vision that would help us be patient in the moment. Case in point: I may get very involved and anxious about one grade for a class, but in the scheme of things, I can get a job just fine without an A.

Patience is a time test. Almost always, patience requires waiting. The first moments are most difficult, perhaps, but as you learn to live with that waiting period and be patient, you learn more patience. It's like that quote from C.S. Lewis: "You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later." I had a tire fixed in December, and I had to wait two hours! At first, I was very put out, but as I settled into the experience (and read a very interesting magazine on country home decorating), I increased my tolerance and patience.

Much of patience deals with attitude. We have a choice about how we want to react in every situation we confront. We can choose to act in a myriad of ways! But I have found that the reaction of patience is the one that lends itself to the best long-term results.

Patience does not mean weakness. It is a strength. It is evidence of substantial character development. It does not mean passivity, either. You can be passionately patient. In fact, the two can dove-tail together beautifully. Take, for example, my passion with helping people out of poverty. If I couple that with patience, I will be in the trenches for the long run, searching for solutions. I won't give up in just a little while, but will wait it out and continue searching.

To have that kind of patience I just described, you must have faith in the labor you are pursuing. If you don't believe or hope that it is good and worthy, then you can't have the patience to continue going. This is a very explicit gospel parallel.

And finally, just so I can post a picture, I will post a picture of a 1000-piece puzzle Matt and I made last week. That required a fair amount of patience to fit everything together.

the imperfect science of cars

2007-02-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

The last week has been one of learning the imperfect science of CARS. I have a 1996 Toyota Camry which has this really great feature for an older car: the lights automatically turn off when you turn off the car and open the car door. Since the car is kind of a light tan color, I like to leave my lights on so other cars will notice I am not camouflaged into the background and plow right through me. Last week, however, this great feature of the lights automatically turning off FAILED. And I didn't even know because it was during the daytime! The result? I came out to a car that wouldn't make so much as a whir when I turned the key in the ignition. (I did NOT know at this point that the cause was the automatic light feature.) That night was an adventure in and of itself: my friend's jumper cables weren't "manly" enough to give the battery the juice it needed, so my boyfriend generously bought a pair of VERY manly jumper cables that did the trick. I was thrilled when my car worked the next night. I didn't realize the light-turning-off feature was the culprit until that next night when my lights didn't turn off--and I realized it because it was dark outside.

So began the vow to ALWAYS manually turn off my lights. That vow lasted a total of five days. Sunday I went to church, and when I came out, the battery was dead. Even the very manly jumper cables wouldn't get the battery to even TRY to turn over. But here was the complication: I was parked at BYU, in the Administrator parking lot, and I couldn't move my car. I left a note that explained I would try to take care of the problem on Monday morning.

Well, Monday morning had its own adventure! We (when I say we, I am referring to my very patient and helpful boyfriend and me) took out the old battery, took it to Checker to be checked, and left it there for an hour so the test could be complete. The battery wouldn't take the charge and was promptly declared dead. I called Autozone, where I had bought the battery a year ago, and they told me I could bring it in and get a new one at NO COST because the battery was under warranty. So, we picked up the dead battery at Checker and headed to Autozone. After some imcommunicable grunts and eye contact, we left the store 15 minutes later with a new battery. At no charge. EVEN THOUGH they knew I was the culprit for having left my lights on and killing the old one. (Bless Autozone.) But my boyfriend had a work meeting then and I had class, so we resolved to meet up in an hour and a half to install the new battery in my car. Well, his work meeting went longer than planned, and then I had a string of meetings I needed to take care of that didn't end until 2:30, at which time we convened at my car to perform the installation. I was greeted by a bright green parking ticket on my windshield. (In retrospect, I can see that I looked shady because I had a G-lot sticker in my window, so it looked like I probably couldn't find a spot in the student lot and just parked in the A lot. The benefit I would have, if this really were the case, is that a police officer can't determine if the battery is dead or even in the car because it's INSIDE the hood. Hmmmm.) Anyway, we successfully replaced the battery...but I had a class to run to. So, I left the parking ticket on my window and left my car parked where it was.

But the adventure doesn't end...today I took my car (a week late) to be checked for safety and emissions. The safety part checked out, but the emissions FAILED. Because of my new battery!!! I now have to start it cold, got at least 50 mph for a good half an hour, and then bring the car back in within 15 days. And so I an enjoying the ever-widening repercussions of leaving my lights on.

APPLICATION: I thought of two main things from this on-going adventure: one, we get entrenched in habit and become dependent on certain behaviors; and two, the influence of a moment of stupidity has the potential to be VERY far-reaching. I had been trained to not worry about turning off my lights, and even after I figured out that was the problem, a weak moment led me to fall right back into habit. Do we do that when we think about poverty? Do we become entrenched in the way we think about our approach to helping people so that we can't get away from it without feeling uncomfortable?

The second thought is that we can't plan on life happening ideally. In fact, we all have various moments of stupidity--almost daily. As such, we need to be prepared to deal with them. Maybe I don't need to prepare myself for all of this stuff with a battery, but my mental attitude needs to be such to handle the situation as it comes. I think that general principle of patience is extremely applicable here--and in so many other situations in life. Our complex lives are continually being tweaked to be more efficient and enjoyable, but those darn moments of stupidity can throw off the entire assembly line. And we need to be prepared for that. As I look at ways to approach poverty, I must be prepared for the clockwork implementation to be bogged down and have patience in working out the details.

I will be happy to report on how my appeal to the ticket goes AND on if I pass emissions. Life is just one great and grand adventure!

dialogue

2007-01-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while since I've jotted down my thoughts, so enjoy the deep ones of today.

Today I learned about the importance of pursuing dialogue with all stakeholders involved in a policy. For my class project, my focus is welfare, which means I considered the dialogue idea around the policy of welfare. I wonder...what do those who are on welfare have to say? My guess is that I won't be able to bunch them into one large, congruent mass. My guess is that Bob will say it was great for a tight spot, Julie will say it's not enough, Sarai will say it didn't really help with her child's needs, Douglas will say it is a great program that helped and encouraged him as necessary, and Betty will say it has too many rules and regulations. How do you make policy with so much swimming?

Well, this is my conclusion, at least for today: you do the best you can. That may seem cliche-ish, but in all reality, policy is based on ideas and we fight about our viewpoints over the ideas--but at least we are fighting for the fundamental idea that those who have more should help those who have less. And we will never be able to do it perfectly when we live in a system so imperfectly run by imperfect individuals. But we work on it. We let time and experience educate us, and then we revise and refine. And we get new ideas. And we implement them and then interpret them and then look at numbers and results. And then we do it all over again, over and over, year after year. It is a process.

I guess what I would like to say is that the world is doing better at combatting poverty than they were 20 years ago. Can I say that? Is that true? Numbers would speak otherwise, but aren't programs and reach getting better? Isn't the fact that we care and are trying to do something about it (using our resources of time, money, and talent) more than we were before enough to declare we are a step higher than before? I think so. Hmmm, let me make that more definitive: we, as a society, are doing better at dealing with the problem of poverty. Kudos on us. But let's keep working and revising and interpreting and struggling so we get closer to perfection...even if we don't touch it, at least we are reaching for it.

[testing, testing, one, two, three... T-Splines is great, use their plug-ins...]

my motivation

2006-12-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

I've recently been sitting in on interviews for a study abroad program. I am the assistant to the professor who is heading up the program, so I am sitting in on the interviews to give some extra feedback. Today, one interviewee said something that has made me think: he said, "I want to go to Ghana so I can get in touch with the people. When I help someone, it is the one-on-one relationship that motivates me." It made me wonder what my motivation is...do I desire to help because it is the "right" thing to do? Or because it is socially responsible? Maybe because it will make me look good? Or is it the person, the individual, who I am concerned with?

My roommate helped me analyze a bit, and I came away with some conclusions:

1. I originally pursued the path I am on because of experiences I had with the ONE. I saw people, individuals, in horrible circumstances. And I got to know them, making my desire to help them even stronger.

2. Currently, being away from the field, I am more concerned with poverty as a system, as a whole, as a social problem, as something begging a better solution. I am wrapped into the theory and various studies surrounding it. I want interventions that will make a difference. For the one.

Whenever I need to remind myself of my motivation, I think back to Edgar and Lucia, a Bolivian couple I met in Argentina. I spent two months teaching them, spending time with them each day, and I got to know poverty. No, I wasn't living it, but I was living it through the experiences of another. They are who I imagine when I think of programs and interventions and theories and ideas. Well, at least ideally I think of them. I will remember that motivation.

Angel's Landing (or angels landing???)

2006-11-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

This Thanksgiving weekend my family and I went to St. George to try to find more sun and warmth for a few days (SUCCESS!!!). The first day my sisters, Mom, and I hiked Angel's Landing in Zion's National Park. (Okay, so here's the confusion: is it angel's landing, as in the place where an angel lands? or is it the act of angels landing??? My gut instinct is the first one, but I'm not making any substantiated statements.) I thought about a lot of things on the 4-hour hike (going slowly up the backbone of a mountain for a half a mile sure takes a while....). First, here's a picture of me and the mountain:

So, you basically ascend this tiny little precipice while holding on to a chain. I've done the hike once before, but that gut feeling of "why am I doing this?" crept back into my little head and heart. I wouldn't have done it unless I had my sisters and mom supporting me and leading me. I thought of people in poverty...it requires a lot of them to get out of where they're at. It may be pretty scary staring down a road that seems strewn with difficulty. But if they have a mentor or someone to urge them forward--or even go before them--then they will be more likely to do it. My economics professor once talked to me about his belief that mentors was the best way to confront poverty on both ends--the poor end and the rich end. I am beginning to think he was on to something.

Here's a picture of me and 2 of my 3 supporters:

running on a Friday night

2006-11-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the first Friday night in about a month where I didn't have a social activity taking place or where I turned down opportunities to go be social. Do you ever have a need to just take time for yourself to think things through and chill out? Well, I decided to go running. I thought two things while I was puffing out white drifts of breath under the street lights' glares:

1. Running is so much more fun when you have cool clothes to run in. (Thanks to Tao, a Chinese MBA student I tutored last year, I have matching running pants and jacket. Black with orange stripes. Sweet. And yes, I mentioned she was an MBA student on purpose--be impressed.)

2. Running really clears your mind and body.

I came home and stretched (which is usually my most favorite part of running), and I reveled in feeling my body relieve tightness. My mind felt open and clear, and I was at peace.

APPLICATION: I have been wrestling with a quote by President Benson for the last little while. He says that the world takes people out of the slums but Christ takes the slums out of the people so they can leave the slums themselves. I am bascially learning how I can work in the "world" and take people out of the slums. I was TIGHT, you might say. I was really struggling, working hard to make things balance. And then I was chatting with my sister late one night, baring my soul, and she said, "Tricia, do you remember why you started this program?" I stopped and looked at her. "So that you could help people stop worrying so much about daily survival and more about accepting the gospel?" The tightness left, and all the sudden my mind was open and clear. Even now the vision and purpose of where I am right now is bringing me so much peace. I saw people in Argentina struggle to survive the next 12 hours. How could they listen to a white missionary tell them about God when their body was screaming for attention? THAT is my target and THAT is my motivation. It's nice to let that sit in my mind.

Saturday night thoughts

2006-11-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

Today's post is going to be a little different. I am settling down for the night, and I just want to write about whatever is floating through my head. I have taken some time to think about the next week because tomorrow is Fast Sunday, so I have thought about what I want to accomplish through my fast. A scripture in Isaiah sums up my desire: "Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that hou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?" My desire is to undo heavy burdens...by thinking more about others than myself. This scripture is so beautiful, so calming, so exemplifying.

I have a children's book called The Three Questions. It sums up the moral by saying, "Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side." I wonder, as I get necessarily caught up in taking care of life's details, do I miss these opportunities? I went through a period of time when focusing on myself was frustrating for me because I wanted to focus on others. I have lost that sensitivity, I think, and I want to return to it.

My purpose in fasting, then, is to allow Heavenly Father help me see how I can help others. That will mean, of course, that I will need to be on top of my own life details so I will have time and resources to open up to others. More. And meaningfully.

follow the leader

2006-11-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

I am pretty tired right now, but I just have to get in a post. I went to a conference last weekend in Chicago (the Net Impact conference), and I came away with bajillions of ideas that are floating around in my head. So, I am taking a moment to at least get one down before I drop off.

One thought that keeps swimming through my head about how to make changes is working through and with leaders. If you want a family to change, work with the dad. If you want a community to change, work with the respected town patriarch. This goes back to my ideas surrounding microfinance...get in with the FAMILY! And the way to heal them is to go straight for the jugular (in this case, the father or leader). I would like feedback on this idea, if anyone happens to have any.

blessed are your eyes, for they see

2006-10-25T13:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was, for lack of a better word, a crappy day. I got up early and spent the entire day on campus running around. I had to push this meeting short to get to the next meeting, then run across campus to take care of business that took 5 times too long, then cram in homework, then sit in for a class, then finish homework...okay, I'll spare the details. Let's just say any imperfection in the day irritated me, and by 12:20 a.m., I was out cold in my bed.

Today has been better. In fact, without the pressure of a bajillion things weighing on my shoulders, I have taken some time to SEE. I have seen people. I've seen needs. I've also seen beauty. As I pulled into our parking lot, I was taken by the beauty of a tree whose leaves have turned yellow. The scene caught my breath, and I had to take 10 minutes to take a few photos, which are posted below.

I am interested in the application. This beautiful tree has been scattering its beauty for a lot longer than just today at 1:30 p.m. And I missed it...until today! What else do we miss because are busy or distracted? What will I miss as I help people out of poverty if I let myself sink into the same old? Fresh innovation; that's what I want to surround myself with.

push-back and country dancing

2006-10-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

Two things became clear to me yesterday: (1) in order to analyze well, you have to have a push-back friend, and (2) even when treading in unknown waters, you can find enough similarities to collaborate and make things work.

My friend, Brad, is my push-back buddy. He makes me explain my ideas and always takes time to play devil's advocate. I was thinking about this yesterday, because I had a conversation with someone who not only pushed backed, but discredited my ideas by citing his own ideas. That is NOT my idea of a push-back friend, but a stubborn one. So, as you pick a push-back friend to help you figure out solutions to, oh, let's say, POVERTY, be sure he is willing to listen and question, but not discredit unless warranted. The idea is to work as a team in analyzing. Everyone should have a Brad in her life.

Now on to the next experience of yesterday: country dancing. I have never been country dancing before, so I felt like a whole different world was being created around me. Interestingly enough, I didn't feel so out of place. I have done a lot of Latin dancing in my life, so the basic moves were the same, but the lack of hip movement was different. However, I was able to couple my knowledge from Latin dancing with the lifts and bouncing of country dancing to help me navigate the waters of country dancing...and the truth is, I had a FANTASTIC time! So, as I consider solutions for poverty, I shouldn't be afraid to go out-of-bounds in new areas with new ideas; I should use the knowledge I have and make it work. I think the end result has the potential to be better.

just as Mt. Everest searches for a break in the clouds

2006-10-21T08:20:00.000-06:00

Because it is the quiet morning time, I can think more clearly and be more poetic (hence, the title of this post). (Also, I have recently been inspired by my friend, Landon, to be more descriptive in my writing.) But let me turn that poetry into substance: just as Mt. Everest searches for a break in the clouds, I am searching for a break in the "usual" thoughts about poverty. This morning I came close to one. I was studying "prosper" and "prosperity" in the Book of Mormon, but before I got too far, I realized I needed a clearer definition of "prosper." After a number of searches, I established a definition that includes fuzziness (ie., not clear) but may be a bit more in focus than before. Poverty is more than just wealth; it is stability, security, development, growth, and thriving. So wealth is just one (albeit a substantial one) indication of prosperity.

Now, for a paradigm shift: we are helping people focus on getting more wealth to get out of poverty, but microcredit has shown that even as you encourage entrepreneurs, if they are not connected to a thriving market, the stagnation continues. (I personally observed this in some rural communities in Mexico.) So, perhaps we should concern ourselves with movement of resources, rather than gain in wealth. ERGO, help those rural communities increase their own "prosperity," in every sense of the word, before jumping onto the microcredit bandwagon. My next studies should include specific ideas about how to accomplish such a goal.

relationships

2006-10-19T22:22:00.000-06:00

A discussion with my friend tonight has left me considering the importance of relationships. Maybe the solution (or partial solution) to poverty is relationships. Our life is heavily influenced by our interactions with others. Our family is the sphere of our relationships, but then we branch out with friends and eventually "associates" and "acquaintances." All of these influences shape our lives in meaningful and distinct ways.

My professor believes the solution to poverty is mentors. Now I am seeing the power that a relationship can have. But the one difficulty is that relationships, while enriching, can be a bit difficult. We can't predict who we'll be attracted to and who we will share a connection with. So we end up just gravitating. If I assign two people to be "friends," it might work, but it's less likely it will.

But I like this idea. I remember President Monson saying that when we die, all we'll care about from this life is the relationships we have formed. I think that shows what I need to be focusing on right here and right now.

In that vein, please enjoy the following pictures of FRIENDS:

That is me on the right with my two roomies (we learned the ever important skill of tying ties.)

This is me (on the bottom left) hiking with some friends at Stewart Falls.

Brandy and Felipe, my good buddy, at the organ factory he works at.

never satisfied

2006-10-18T22:29:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share a little bit of what I learned about Chinese culture today. When an American (or non-Chinese) goes over to China, instead of trying to make her name fit the characters, she is given a new name. My Chinese-studying friend said the name is reflective of the personality. So, I asked him what my name would be: bu man. That's right. Bu man. It means "never satisfied." Given the fact that I am restlessly searching for ways to end poverty, I agree.

But I can almost ALWAYS be satisfied by chocolate. Just so you know, Brady.

dating for a kiss

2006-10-18T22:14:00.000-06:00

Just as I shouldn't date with the end goal of a kiss, I shouldn't cater to donors for the end goal of donations. I really liked this idea that was presented in my class today, so I thought I'd pass it on.

Now, on to a thought about my approach to alleviating poverty. I read in my textbook that I shouldn't go about trying to provide a SOLUTION, but rather should be content that I am helping alleviate the situation. My drive for finding a solution that is better than the ones out there sat down for a moment as I tried to decide if I was tackling the issue in the WRONG way. Maybe I should be more content to work with the solutions already out there before I condemn them all and find my own solution.

Okay, that was drastic, but I do feel that I need to consider the fact that so many other orgs out there have accomplished a lot and made groundway for a lot more to be done. I need to be aware of them and work with them to accomplish my goals.

framing a definition

2006-10-16T11:57:00.000-06:00

In an effort to standardize and mobilize, the World Bank has defined poverty as living on less than $2 a day. They use this definition to set goals, group people together, and focus their interventions. I understand these needs, and I applaud them. According to their figures, more than 2/3 of the world's population is living in poverty. That's a staggering figure, but the reason I am bringing this up is to more properly frame what poverty is.

Poverty is a whole lot more than a measure of financial means. Using the financial means as a base, you can see that poverty means not having financial opportunities. Now, in a world that is based on economic transactions and exchange, that is a problem. But let's step outside of the financial circle for just a moment. Someone who does not have financial means may not have those means for a number of reasons: lack of opportunity, lack of confidence, lack of resources, lack of education, lack of networking, or even a lack of understanding. That's a whole lot of problems that can't be solved with one whack.

Which brings me to something I struggle with constantly: I want to help those who need help, but I would prefer that they self-define themselves as needing help. If I come in as an outsider and claim my expertise as knowing how to classify those in need, I am majorly overstepping the bounds of agency. HUGE PROBLEM. So, do you let those living in poverty situations (abusive homes, lack of eduction, unhealthy environments) decide that they need help when they might not even have a measure to realize they are in such situations? Or do you go in and educate them about how they SHOULD be living? You know, a little bit self-righteous: I really like how I live, and you should live like I do, so let me help you change your life to be like mine. Is that right?

Okay, another level: we all live in capitalism. Except North Korea, but even then, they have to deal with capitalism. So, the assumption is we all live in capitalism, which has shown that certain systems and procedures function better within the framework of capitalism than others. So sharing my knowledge of successfully implementing these systems and procedures is great, but then how do you measure results? Is it enough to share, or do you demand change? But then, the demanded change is kind of on the part of the client, and who am I to make that choice for him or her?

Too many questions. I will let them rest for now.

drive-by internet

2006-10-12T22:23:00.000-06:00

Right now I am sitting silently in a parked car in the dark. I am with my sister and brother, and we are each intently staring at our individual laptop screens. It just so happens that this stretch of the road has wireless signals from VARIOUS hotels, so we are taking advantage of their generosity to maintain contact with the world. It just so happens the house we are staying at doesn't have any internet, and we all have this need to stay in contact with the world through internet. (Besides the fact that I got 23 emails in the short span of 24 hours. Craziness.)

Just imagine: you're walking down the road, taking a nice walk with your dog at, oh 9:30. It's dark, you pass a few hotels, and there, in the parking lot, is a parked car with three heads intent on lighted screens. So intent on connecting with the "world," they aren't even connecting with each other. Or the person walking the dog.

season of mercy

2006-10-12T22:08:00.000-06:00

I am in sunny St. George for a few days, and I have effectively staved off work and school productivity. However, I have gone to two plays in two days, and I have been both entertained and enriched. Today I saw Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice, one of my FAVORITES, and I was given nuggets to digest about justice and mercy. Due to the different circumstances we find ourselves in, some of us require more mercy (or are in cirumstances that require more mercy), while others are in circumstances to extend more mercy. And whenever mercy is extended, the blessing is double: both for the giver and the receiver (please refer to the courtoom scene of Merchant of Venice for a beautiful detailing of what I just said).

I also found myself sitting by a myriad of different people from different situations. Usually, play-goers are of a particular "type," but since I was going to a Thursday matinee, I found myself among high school and junior high kids, as well as a disabled group. I was so pleased to have them there participating, and I wondered if their perceptions would be different due to the filter of their individual paradigms. Well, obviously, but how, I didn't know. I don't know. It made me think how many different good things there are to do with money and time (and other resources) as far as helping other people out. There are a lot of people with resources, and there are a variety of people that need resources. So the excuse is not in the lack of opportunity; it is in the lack of action.

So, during this time of thinking, I have returned once more to the paradigm of wanting to act. I plan on giving more $$$ for fast offerings, to start off with, and perhaps starting a thing where I make cupcakes for the foster kids at a local school when it is their birthday. You know, SOMETHING. Anything is good. Just as long as I am extending the mercy that will be a blessing both to me and to the one receiving it. (ie: action)

families

2006-10-09T18:56:00.000-06:00

I had a conversation today with a friend who is serious about helping her fellow countrymen in Mexico. She talked about lots of successful ideas that haven't come to fruition because they aren't fed through existing infrastructures. She also talked about how you can't change a kid's self-esteem unless you change the home environment. And as she got down to what she was talking about, I was realizing something that struck me forcibly this summer: the FAMILY is the basic unit of society, and any intervention that is going to be successful will somehow integrate the FAMILY.

Social workers face the same frustration. They work with kids and get them to trust the environment of the therapist for two hours each week. But where are the kids the rest of the week? With their family. And so all the progress that has been made won't be sustained unless there are substantial changes made within the family.

Let's return to microcredit for just a second. Microcredit has typically targeted women in communities. I like the community idea (refer to the previous blog), but I have had real issues with the focus on women. I feel like while it gives the women needed confidence, it gives the men excuses to not be responsible fathers and husbands--they just let the wife do the work. And what does that teach the kid? So an intervention needs to take into consideration the family, whether explicitly by including the entire family, or implicitly by realizing the implications on the family.

a 72-pronged solution

2006-10-07T19:15:00.000-06:00

Today I went to a football game, and some homeowner's association announced multiple times how it was helping the football team with something or other. I was struck by a thought that has hit me several times: why do we live in such opulence when so many people have nothing? I began to think about how if we were more conservative with our homes more resources could be shoved toward helping those in poverty.

But my idealistic solution is shouting inepitude. I thought more about poverty as I watched my team crush their opponent (BYU 47, SDSU 17). I thought, "Do the 'poor' really need more resources thrown at them?" I remembered a book discussion I had attended a year ago, wherein we chatted about principles in Bridges Out of Poverty, and I was struck by how those in poverty approach life differently. I read a few chapters from a book today about social entrepreneurship that expressed the idea that since those in poverty were constantly being exposed to the richness of most Americans, they were encouraged to action and success. So, maybe throwing resources towards them isn't the answer. I thought how in my life I have so much choice and opportunity--how could we create the same thing for those in poverty? Meaning, if they want to be a doctor, great. If they want to collect garbage, great. (REALITY: Who really wants to collect garbage? I mean, really. They may do it nobly, but I wonder if someone really does want that job.) So, instead of saying, "Hey, you that are in poverty, you are not as good as us; you should live like us. Let us give you a few resources and see if you can do what we do." It's an entire culture and way-of-thinking shift.

Instead of the resources concern, what about education? Can you change the cultural stigmas and ways of thinking through education? How do you change an entire family, or an entire COMMUNITY? In that case, I think microcredit really is on the right track.

Okay, I just needed to get those ideas and questions out in the open (the "open" being defined as the nebulous mass that is the INTERNET). More later.

a divergence...on pencils

2006-10-07T10:57:00.000-06:00

I know I am supposed to be focused on poverty, but I couldn't help but write a small bit about pencils. Until this morning, when I was forced by circumstances to write notes with a pencil, I had forgotten the beauties of the invention referred to as the PENCIL. My life has been complemented heavily by the computer, so the pencil has been a thing forgotten. Yesterday I took a test that required a No. 2 pencil, and I loved the physicalness of the experience. This morning, I read three chapters and jotted notes down on another piece of paper with a pencil. The strokes were somewhat uneven, but basically predictable. The shades differed on the page, and the weight of my hand had to balance the sharp part of the point with the pencil's forever-ending sharpness. It was a lovely experience. So real, so "rustic."

As an English major, I have before extolled the virtues of the pencil, but with this new degree, I have since forgotten those virtues. However, in this divergent fit, I encourage all of you to return to the pleasure of writing with a No. 2, recently sharpened, yellow pencil (with a good eraser, of course). Marvel in the innovative power of that small invention; try writing upside down with it; try smudging it on the page. Just revel in the experience! And then you can return to the world of wordprocessing, where uneven lines and creative letters are systematized into cookie-cutter creations.

Oh, and then think about how you can help someone today have greater satisfaction in life. Pass along the joy.

why poverty

2006-10-05T17:25:00.000-06:00

As I promised in my first post, I will now expulge (not sure if that is a word, but it sounds pretty awesome to me) the reasons behind my interest in poverty.

I grew up with the "idea" of poverty as close to me as a picture or the television could get. I knew what poverty was as a definition, I saw pictures of children starving in Africa, and I felt some desire to help, but it was something too far out of my reach--out of my world. I am guessing I don't need to even explain my background because my background is pretty much explained by the fact that I am blogging. Who else would take the time and have the resources to blog?

Back to poverty...so then, at the age of 21, I went to Argentina to spend 18 months as a service volunteer for my church (ie: I was a missionary). I trudged around the dirt roads and green fields of Argentina, sharing my life for a brief moment with so many other people I won't ever see again. It was an amazing experience, but one of the most poignant parts was that of seeing poverty--coming face-to-face with what I had seen in pictures and on television. There I was, amid tin sheets balanced against each other for shelter. Human waste was thrown out onto the same dirt roads I was trodding down, and dogs with horrible diseases that were deforming them and taking away their hair and limbs hobbled alongside of me. But it was the people that were indeliably impressed on my mind. Wrinkled skin, dirty fingernails, and matted hair were just the beginning. Odds and ends of clothing were piled on bodies in the winter until it was hard to see what shape the person was. Hollowed eyes stared back at me, and smiles full of missing teeth grinned at me. That was the physical reality. The psychological reality was families not knowing where their next meal was coming from, not knowing IF their next meal would come. Not all Argentines lived like this; only those in the so-called "villas de miseria," meaning villages of misery. I was not only scared of what I didn't know, I was scared of the hate and depression that took over many people in these areas. I could feel it. It was heavy. I hated it. (the picture is of one of the areas I served in as a missionary, in Concordia, Argentina)

My experience in Argentina was a beginning in many ways. I had now seen poverty, and I did not like it. Not because people didn't have money, but because people were downtrodden, depressed, hateful, and learned to lie. To me. (Wasn't I there to help them?) I tried to help them as a missionary, and in many ways I was able to help them. Giving them hope through the plan of salvation is the best motivation for change I have seen. But I want to keep working, helping them CHANGE.

I started my current MPA degree with the desire to help through microfinance. After a year and an internship, I am not so crazy about microfinance, but I am looking at other ways to help. Or maybe other ways that involve microfinance.

Which brings me to this blog. It has been three years now since I have returned from Argentina. It is sometimes hard to remember those experiences as vividly as I would like to. I am a student, studying about all these things, and I sometimes feel like I am as I was before Argentina, looking at pictures, talking about problems, and all these problems are going on around me. I want to act...but I need to prepare. So this is my way of acting for right now.

grocery store education

2006-10-04T15:32:00.000-06:00

So, a few days ago, I went to the grocery store for two items:

1. cupcake liners (is that even the right word for this item?)

2. a feminine product

I had just finished picking up these items, when I turned the corner and ran into a table of books that were 50% off! I was compelled to at least turn my attention to this, since reading books is a great pasttime of mine. And I found two books I decided to buy (it doesn't matter they were both $8 each; it matters that they were 50% off). And I left wondering: when am I going to read these books? The fact is I have two books on my table waiting to be read, as I try to just stay caught up with the reading for my classes. And then I felt horribly humbled to realize that I had time and resources to accumulate various books that I would "get to" when I had time, while other people don't even read. Because they can't--they never learned. Or they can, but they don't have anything TO read. Can you imagine living in this world without being able to read? And yet people survive like that.

Imagine how you can empower a life by helping a person learn to read. To function as a member in a society. After all, the United States (my country) was founded on the idea that the "educated" citizen could make decisions about governing. In other words, the educated citizen would be able to READ and get him/herself informed appropriately.

On a religious note, God has maintained his people through scriptures, which of course require literacy. In fact, scriptures (or the words of prophets) have been vital to maintaining the religious order necessary for obedient disciples.

So, I will enjoy the two books that will wait on my shelves as I try to tackle the two sitting on my table. And I will appreciate with a humble and grateful heart all the school reading I am wading through because I CAN read. And be informed. And take leisure time to inform myself as I so desire.

welcome to the world of blog

2006-10-03T22:24:00.000-06:00

I have recently discovered the wide world of blogging through inadvertent web searches (where was I for the last 10 years?), and I have finally convinced myself to start one. But in order to do that, I needed a reason beyond an online journal; therefore, I have established this blog with a SOCIAL PURPOSE. Since I have devoted my life to helping others out of poverty, I've decided that will be my focus. Right now I am in an MPA program (master's of public administration), so sometimes I feel out of touch with the "realness" of poverty, and this blog will give me a great opportunity to keep in touch with the reason I am here.

Topic for next time: why poverty?