blessed are your eyes, for they see

Yesterday was, for lack of a better word, a crappy day. I got up early and spent the entire day on campus running around. I had to push this meeting short to get to the next meeting, then run across campus to take care of business that took 5 times too long, then cram in homework, then sit in for a class, then finish homework...okay, I'll spare the details. Let's just say any imperfection in the day irritated me, and by 12:20 a.m., I was out cold in my bed.

Today has been better. In fact, without the pressure of a bajillion things weighing on my shoulders, I have taken some time to SEE. I have seen people. I've seen needs. I've also seen beauty. As I pulled into our parking lot, I was taken by the beauty of a tree whose leaves have turned yellow. The scene caught my breath, and I had to take 10 minutes to take a few photos, which are posted below.






I am interested in the application. This beautiful tree has been scattering its beauty for a lot longer than just today at 1:30 p.m. And I missed it...until today! What else do we miss because are busy or distracted? What will I miss as I help people out of poverty if I let myself sink into the same old? Fresh innovation; that's what I want to surround myself with.

push-back and country dancing

Two things became clear to me yesterday: (1) in order to analyze well, you have to have a push-back friend, and (2) even when treading in unknown waters, you can find enough similarities to collaborate and make things work.

My friend, Brad, is my push-back buddy. He makes me explain my ideas and always takes time to play devil's advocate. I was thinking about this yesterday, because I had a conversation with someone who not only pushed backed, but discredited my ideas by citing his own ideas. That is NOT my idea of a push-back friend, but a stubborn one. So, as you pick a push-back friend to help you figure out solutions to, oh, let's say, POVERTY, be sure he is willing to listen and question, but not discredit unless warranted. The idea is to work as a team in analyzing. Everyone should have a Brad in her life.

Now on to the next experience of yesterday: country dancing. I have never been country dancing before, so I felt like a whole different world was being created around me. Interestingly enough, I didn't feel so out of place. I have done a lot of Latin dancing in my life, so the basic moves were the same, but the lack of hip movement was different. However, I was able to couple my knowledge from Latin dancing with the lifts and bouncing of country dancing to help me navigate the waters of country dancing...and the truth is, I had a FANTASTIC time! So, as I consider solutions for poverty, I shouldn't be afraid to go out-of-bounds in new areas with new ideas; I should use the knowledge I have and make it work. I think the end result has the potential to be better.

just as Mt. Everest searches for a break in the clouds

Because it is the quiet morning time, I can think more clearly and be more poetic (hence, the title of this post). (Also, I have recently been inspired by my friend, Landon, to be more descriptive in my writing.) But let me turn that poetry into substance: just as Mt. Everest searches for a break in the clouds, I am searching for a break in the "usual" thoughts about poverty. This morning I came close to one. I was studying "prosper" and "prosperity" in the Book of Mormon, but before I got too far, I realized I needed a clearer definition of "prosper." After a number of searches, I established a definition that includes fuzziness (ie., not clear) but may be a bit more in focus than before. Poverty is more than just wealth; it is stability, security, development, growth, and thriving. So wealth is just one (albeit a substantial one) indication of prosperity.

Now, for a paradigm shift: we are helping people focus on getting more wealth to get out of poverty, but microcredit has shown that even as you encourage entrepreneurs, if they are not connected to a thriving market, the stagnation continues. (I personally observed this in some rural communities in Mexico.) So, perhaps we should concern ourselves with movement of resources, rather than gain in wealth. ERGO, help those rural communities increase their own "prosperity," in every sense of the word, before jumping onto the microcredit bandwagon. My next studies should include specific ideas about how to accomplish such a goal.

relationships

A discussion with my friend tonight has left me considering the importance of relationships. Maybe the solution (or partial solution) to poverty is relationships. Our life is heavily influenced by our interactions with others. Our family is the sphere of our relationships, but then we branch out with friends and eventually "associates" and "acquaintances." All of these influences shape our lives in meaningful and distinct ways.

My professor believes the solution to poverty is mentors. Now I am seeing the power that a relationship can have. But the one difficulty is that relationships, while enriching, can be a bit difficult. We can't predict who we'll be attracted to and who we will share a connection with. So we end up just gravitating. If I assign two people to be "friends," it might work, but it's less likely it will.

But I like this idea. I remember President Monson saying that when we die, all we'll care about from this life is the relationships we have formed. I think that shows what I need to be focusing on right here and right now.

In that vein, please enjoy the following pictures of FRIENDS:

That is me on the right with my two roomies (we learned the ever important skill of tying ties.)

This is me (on the bottom left) hiking with some friends at Stewart Falls.

Brandy and Felipe, my good buddy, at the organ factory he works at.

never satisfied

I just wanted to share a little bit of what I learned about Chinese culture today. When an American (or non-Chinese) goes over to China, instead of trying to make her name fit the characters, she is given a new name. My Chinese-studying friend said the name is reflective of the personality. So, I asked him what my name would be: bu man. That's right. Bu man. It means "never satisfied." Given the fact that I am restlessly searching for ways to end poverty, I agree.

But I can almost ALWAYS be satisfied by chocolate. Just so you know, Brady.

dating for a kiss

Just as I shouldn't date with the end goal of a kiss, I shouldn't cater to donors for the end goal of donations. I really liked this idea that was presented in my class today, so I thought I'd pass it on.

Now, on to a thought about my approach to alleviating poverty. I read in my textbook that I shouldn't go about trying to provide a SOLUTION, but rather should be content that I am helping alleviate the situation. My drive for finding a solution that is better than the ones out there sat down for a moment as I tried to decide if I was tackling the issue in the WRONG way. Maybe I should be more content to work with the solutions already out there before I condemn them all and find my own solution.

Okay, that was drastic, but I do feel that I need to consider the fact that so many other orgs out there have accomplished a lot and made groundway for a lot more to be done. I need to be aware of them and work with them to accomplish my goals.

framing a definition

In an effort to standardize and mobilize, the World Bank has defined poverty as living on less than $2 a day. They use this definition to set goals, group people together, and focus their interventions. I understand these needs, and I applaud them. According to their figures, more than 2/3 of the world's population is living in poverty. That's a staggering figure, but the reason I am bringing this up is to more properly frame what poverty is.

Poverty is a whole lot more than a measure of financial means. Using the financial means as a base, you can see that poverty means not having financial opportunities. Now, in a world that is based on economic transactions and exchange, that is a problem. But let's step outside of the financial circle for just a moment. Someone who does not have financial means may not have those means for a number of reasons: lack of opportunity, lack of confidence, lack of resources, lack of education, lack of networking, or even a lack of understanding. That's a whole lot of problems that can't be solved with one whack.

Which brings me to something I struggle with constantly: I want to help those who need help, but I would prefer that they self-define themselves as needing help. If I come in as an outsider and claim my expertise as knowing how to classify those in need, I am majorly overstepping the bounds of agency. HUGE PROBLEM. So, do you let those living in poverty situations (abusive homes, lack of eduction, unhealthy environments) decide that they need help when they might not even have a measure to realize they are in such situations? Or do you go in and educate them about how they SHOULD be living? You know, a little bit self-righteous: I really like how I live, and you should live like I do, so let me help you change your life to be like mine. Is that right?

Okay, another level: we all live in capitalism. Except North Korea, but even then, they have to deal with capitalism. So, the assumption is we all live in capitalism, which has shown that certain systems and procedures function better within the framework of capitalism than others. So sharing my knowledge of successfully implementing these systems and procedures is great, but then how do you measure results? Is it enough to share, or do you demand change? But then, the demanded change is kind of on the part of the client, and who am I to make that choice for him or her?

Too many questions. I will let them rest for now.

drive-by internet

Right now I am sitting silently in a parked car in the dark. I am with my sister and brother, and we are each intently staring at our individual laptop screens. It just so happens that this stretch of the road has wireless signals from VARIOUS hotels, so we are taking advantage of their generosity to maintain contact with the world. It just so happens the house we are staying at doesn't have any internet, and we all have this need to stay in contact with the world through internet. (Besides the fact that I got 23 emails in the short span of 24 hours. Craziness.)

Just imagine: you're walking down the road, taking a nice walk with your dog at, oh 9:30. It's dark, you pass a few hotels, and there, in the parking lot, is a parked car with three heads intent on lighted screens. So intent on connecting with the "world," they aren't even connecting with each other. Or the person walking the dog.

season of mercy

I am in sunny St. George for a few days, and I have effectively staved off work and school productivity. However, I have gone to two plays in two days, and I have been both entertained and enriched. Today I saw Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice, one of my FAVORITES, and I was given nuggets to digest about justice and mercy. Due to the different circumstances we find ourselves in, some of us require more mercy (or are in cirumstances that require more mercy), while others are in circumstances to extend more mercy. And whenever mercy is extended, the blessing is double: both for the giver and the receiver (please refer to the courtoom scene of Merchant of Venice for a beautiful detailing of what I just said).

I also found myself sitting by a myriad of different people from different situations. Usually, play-goers are of a particular "type," but since I was going to a Thursday matinee, I found myself among high school and junior high kids, as well as a disabled group. I was so pleased to have them there participating, and I wondered if their perceptions would be different due to the filter of their individual paradigms. Well, obviously, but how, I didn't know. I don't know. It made me think how many different good things there are to do with money and time (and other resources) as far as helping other people out. There are a lot of people with resources, and there are a variety of people that need resources. So the excuse is not in the lack of opportunity; it is in the lack of action.

So, during this time of thinking, I have returned once more to the paradigm of wanting to act. I plan on giving more $$$ for fast offerings, to start off with, and perhaps starting a thing where I make cupcakes for the foster kids at a local school when it is their birthday. You know, SOMETHING. Anything is good. Just as long as I am extending the mercy that will be a blessing both to me and to the one receiving it. (ie: action)

families

I had a conversation today with a friend who is serious about helping her fellow countrymen in Mexico. She talked about lots of successful ideas that haven't come to fruition because they aren't fed through existing infrastructures. She also talked about how you can't change a kid's self-esteem unless you change the home environment. And as she got down to what she was talking about, I was realizing something that struck me forcibly this summer: the FAMILY is the basic unit of society, and any intervention that is going to be successful will somehow integrate the FAMILY.

Social workers face the same frustration. They work with kids and get them to trust the environment of the therapist for two hours each week. But where are the kids the rest of the week? With their family. And so all the progress that has been made won't be sustained unless there are substantial changes made within the family.

Let's return to microcredit for just a second. Microcredit has typically targeted women in communities. I like the community idea (refer to the previous blog), but I have had real issues with the focus on women. I feel like while it gives the women needed confidence, it gives the men excuses to not be responsible fathers and husbands--they just let the wife do the work. And what does that teach the kid? So an intervention needs to take into consideration the family, whether explicitly by including the entire family, or implicitly by realizing the implications on the family.

a 72-pronged solution

Today I went to a football game, and some homeowner's association announced multiple times how it was helping the football team with something or other. I was struck by a thought that has hit me several times: why do we live in such opulence when so many people have nothing? I began to think about how if we were more conservative with our homes more resources could be shoved toward helping those in poverty.

But my idealistic solution is shouting inepitude. I thought more about poverty as I watched my team crush their opponent (BYU 47, SDSU 17). I thought, "Do the 'poor' really need more resources thrown at them?" I remembered a book discussion I had attended a year ago, wherein we chatted about principles in Bridges Out of Poverty, and I was struck by how those in poverty approach life differently. I read a few chapters from a book today about social entrepreneurship that expressed the idea that since those in poverty were constantly being exposed to the richness of most Americans, they were encouraged to action and success. So, maybe throwing resources towards them isn't the answer. I thought how in my life I have so much choice and opportunity--how could we create the same thing for those in poverty? Meaning, if they want to be a doctor, great. If they want to collect garbage, great. (REALITY: Who really wants to collect garbage? I mean, really. They may do it nobly, but I wonder if someone really does want that job.) So, instead of saying, "Hey, you that are in poverty, you are not as good as us; you should live like us. Let us give you a few resources and see if you can do what we do." It's an entire culture and way-of-thinking shift.

Instead of the resources concern, what about education? Can you change the cultural stigmas and ways of thinking through education? How do you change an entire family, or an entire COMMUNITY? In that case, I think microcredit really is on the right track.

Okay, I just needed to get those ideas and questions out in the open (the "open" being defined as the nebulous mass that is the INTERNET). More later.

a divergence...on pencils

I know I am supposed to be focused on poverty, but I couldn't help but write a small bit about pencils. Until this morning, when I was forced by circumstances to write notes with a pencil, I had forgotten the beauties of the invention referred to as the PENCIL. My life has been complemented heavily by the computer, so the pencil has been a thing forgotten. Yesterday I took a test that required a No. 2 pencil, and I loved the physicalness of the experience. This morning, I read three chapters and jotted notes down on another piece of paper with a pencil. The strokes were somewhat uneven, but basically predictable. The shades differed on the page, and the weight of my hand had to balance the sharp part of the point with the pencil's forever-ending sharpness. It was a lovely experience. So real, so "rustic."

As an English major, I have before extolled the virtues of the pencil, but with this new degree, I have since forgotten those virtues. However, in this divergent fit, I encourage all of you to return to the pleasure of writing with a No. 2, recently sharpened, yellow pencil (with a good eraser, of course). Marvel in the innovative power of that small invention; try writing upside down with it; try smudging it on the page. Just revel in the experience! And then you can return to the world of wordprocessing, where uneven lines and creative letters are systematized into cookie-cutter creations.

Oh, and then think about how you can help someone today have greater satisfaction in life. Pass along the joy.

why poverty

As I promised in my first post, I will now expulge (not sure if that is a word, but it sounds pretty awesome to me) the reasons behind my interest in poverty.

I grew up with the "idea" of poverty as close to me as a picture or the television could get. I knew what poverty was as a definition, I saw pictures of children starving in Africa, and I felt some desire to help, but it was something too far out of my reach--out of my world. I am guessing I don't need to even explain my background because my background is pretty much explained by the fact that I am blogging. Who else would take the time and have the resources to blog?

Back to poverty...so then, at the age of 21, I went to Argentina to spend 18 months as a service volunteer for my church (ie: I was a missionary). I trudged around the dirt roads and green fields of Argentina, sharing my life for a brief moment with so many other people I won't ever see again. It was an amazing experience, but one of the most poignant parts was that of seeing poverty--coming face-to-face with what I had seen in pictures and on television. There I was, amid tin sheets balanced against each other for shelter. Human waste was thrown out onto the same dirt roads I was trodding down, and dogs with horrible diseases that were deforming them and taking away their hair and limbs hobbled alongside of me. But it was the people that were indeliably impressed on my mind. Wrinkled skin, dirty fingernails, and matted hair were just the beginning. Odds and ends of clothing were piled on bodies in the winter until it was hard to see what shape the person was. Hollowed eyes stared back at me, and smiles full of missing teeth grinned at me. That was the physical reality. The psychological reality was families not knowing where their next meal was coming from, not knowing IF their next meal would come. Not all Argentines lived like this; only those in the so-called "villas de miseria," meaning villages of misery. I was not only scared of what I didn't know, I was scared of the hate and depression that took over many people in these areas. I could feel it. It was heavy. I hated it. (the picture is of one of the areas I served in as a missionary, in Concordia, Argentina)

My experience in Argentina was a beginning in many ways. I had now seen poverty, and I did not like it. Not because people didn't have money, but because people were downtrodden, depressed, hateful, and learned to lie. To me. (Wasn't I there to help them?) I tried to help them as a missionary, and in many ways I was able to help them. Giving them hope through the plan of salvation is the best motivation for change I have seen. But I want to keep working, helping them CHANGE.

I started my current MPA degree with the desire to help through microfinance. After a year and an internship, I am not so crazy about microfinance, but I am looking at other ways to help. Or maybe other ways that involve microfinance.

Which brings me to this blog. It has been three years now since I have returned from Argentina. It is sometimes hard to remember those experiences as vividly as I would like to. I am a student, studying about all these things, and I sometimes feel like I am as I was before Argentina, looking at pictures, talking about problems, and all these problems are going on around me. I want to act...but I need to prepare. So this is my way of acting for right now.

grocery store education

So, a few days ago, I went to the grocery store for two items:

1. cupcake liners (is that even the right word for this item?)

2. a feminine product

I had just finished picking up these items, when I turned the corner and ran into a table of books that were 50% off! I was compelled to at least turn my attention to this, since reading books is a great pasttime of mine. And I found two books I decided to buy (it doesn't matter they were both $8 each; it matters that they were 50% off). And I left wondering: when am I going to read these books? The fact is I have two books on my table waiting to be read, as I try to just stay caught up with the reading for my classes. And then I felt horribly humbled to realize that I had time and resources to accumulate various books that I would "get to" when I had time, while other people don't even read. Because they can't--they never learned. Or they can, but they don't have anything TO read. Can you imagine living in this world without being able to read? And yet people survive like that.

Imagine how you can empower a life by helping a person learn to read. To function as a member in a society. After all, the United States (my country) was founded on the idea that the "educated" citizen could make decisions about governing. In other words, the educated citizen would be able to READ and get him/herself informed appropriately.

On a religious note, God has maintained his people through scriptures, which of course require literacy. In fact, scriptures (or the words of prophets) have been vital to maintaining the religious order necessary for obedient disciples.

So, I will enjoy the two books that will wait on my shelves as I try to tackle the two sitting on my table. And I will appreciate with a humble and grateful heart all the school reading I am wading through because I CAN read. And be informed. And take leisure time to inform myself as I so desire.

welcome to the world of blog

I have recently discovered the wide world of blogging through inadvertent web searches (where was I for the last 10 years?), and I have finally convinced myself to start one. But in order to do that, I needed a reason beyond an online journal; therefore, I have established this blog with a SOCIAL PURPOSE. Since I have devoted my life to helping others out of poverty, I've decided that will be my focus. Right now I am in an MPA program (master's of public administration), so sometimes I feel out of touch with the "realness" of poverty, and this blog will give me a great opportunity to keep in touch with the reason I am here.

Topic for next time: why poverty?