graduate level reading

I am one month from graduating with an MPA degree. Two and a half years ago, as I was considering a graduate degree, I was informed that graduate work is based on reading. As it turns out, my program is more applied (ie: we don't have to write a thesis), but I have done a gargantuan amount of reading nonetheless. I became acutely aware of this when the director of our program suggested that we include on our resumes the books we have read for each class. I began to list just the books for one class and came up with five good, solid evidences of literature enrichment. Later that day, in another class, one student who is taking just that one class was trying to think of a reference that one of the other students had cited from a book we had read for a previous class. As she tried to remember the name of the book, we all started naming off the books that might fit the criteria. In the end, I was quite amazed to consider what I had been exposed to, and I decided I wanted to revel in the fact that I was reading so much engaging material that was preparing me for real life by helping me establish a solid academic foundation.

Just to give you an idea of what kind of preparation I am currently engaged it, here is a list of various books I have read within the last three months:

• Developing Your Case for Support (153 pages)
• Managing a Nonprofit Organization in the Twenty-first Century (about 60 of 340 pages)
• Leadership Challenge (399 pages)
• Crucial Conversations (192 pages)
• Policy Paradox (314 pages)
• Agendas, Alternatives, and Public Policies (244 pages)
• Julius, the Baby of the World (maybe 30 pages...it is a picture book)

I am currently reading from several other books, as well as delving into articles for research on microcredit's influence on the family. Oh, and I just have to add that last year I read Kant's Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals. My professor said one-third of the reason we studied it in our ethics class was so we could say we had read Kant. So, I am here declaring that I have not only debated and delved into the ideas of Kant, but I have read them, insofar as they were translated correctly.

So, as I finish this program and I get tired of all the reading, I will try to look at the big picture and be grateful for all that I am being exposed to.

comparison: a double-edged sword

I've been thinking lately about comparisons. Many times I have been told that comparisons are not good because we are individual and unique; thus, we need not think we should be like others. It's kind of like the Molly Mormon idea--you just can't be perfect at everything. So stop comparing with others. Stop worrying about the money you don't have, the perfect kids you don't have (or the fact you don't have kids at all), or the super golf skills you don't have.

But then I am told I need to compare so I can have benchmarks against which to gauge my progress. Thus, I should be aware that I don't have golf skills so I am motivated to take steps to change that situation. I will be more anxious to practice and spend time swinging at golf balls. In essence, the fact that someone is better than me is proof that the skill level above me IS attainable, and that should motivate me to move forward.

With this analysis, I am left with a battle that spills over into the world of poverty. People in poverty are survivors. Many times they don't take time to dream because they are living. And lots of times they are happy in their world. But I have also seen that when they have a chance to see how other people live--ie: a soap opera in America--their ideas change, and they all the sudden want to live their life differently. So, instead of being content with their survival, they would like to add a TV or a CD player to that survival mode. I've seen various shacks with a dirt floor that have a TV. A TV? I obviously don't feel that is a necessary item, but those people do.

And that leaves me confounded as to the power of comparison. It can both help or hurt. As such, there must be a balance that steers clear of the negative aspects of comparison and encourages the motivation of comparison. I'll keep thinking about that one.

the difference a year makes

I have recently (meaning the last five days) been going to bed earlier so I can get up earlier. I am quite amazed at how lovely it is for me to get up in the morning now, and I feel like I have the potential to be so much more productive. And not just the potential--I have tackled everything that has been put in my way this week.

So, this morning, I got up early and went to school earlier than planned to take care of some phone calls to Ghana (dealing with an 11-hour difference between Ghana and the U.S., I tried to make contact at a convenient time for them). I just loved the morning-ness!

And this afternoon it is sunny and warm. As I got out of my car and walked to my apartment, all these feelings of wanting to go and play and be outside and not study or work flooded my mind. I was a bit surprised--and then remembered that I have felt that same way for the last, oh, 20 years. At least. And so, even though I have lived through the yearly seasonal rotation 26 times before, I am still new to the feelings and actions associated with the seasonal change. I like that. I like the sedation that winter brings on, and I like the vivaciousness that spring brings out.

And with all this yearly comparison stuff going on, I couldn't help but compare where I am now to where I was a year ago. A year ago I was searching for an internship, eventually landing one in Mexico for a crazy-go- nuts (but highly influential and beneficial) experience. Now I am searching for a job, and I have my first interview next week. EXCITING! I feel like this interview will be the first in a long line of figuring things out, but I am excited to get on the bandwagon to get things moving along. I have already made myself comfortable with the tweaking of the resume for each job, so I don't feel so intimidated about making myself fit a job description. And I am amazed to look back at my experiences. Humbled. I have had great opportunities.

And so, here's to a year of adventure that took me to Mexico and Oregon and brought me back to Provo. Here's to a year where my passion was tested, my goals were changed, and my faith in humanity was refined. Here's to a year of learning, teaching, sharing, enduring, and resting.

And here's to a new year full of another set of richness.